45 Things I learned at 45
45 Things I learned at 45
And so I turned 45 this year. I am fortunate to have lived a life filled with love from my family and friends. I was also always blessed to have a good job, traveled the world for business and leisure, entered contests (modelling, beauty pageant, art, essay writing – name it, I joined it all!) and won (and lost), children who are healthy, good human beings who love life as I do (and by that, I mean NEVER EVER gave me any long term headaches).
I look at them and I see a piece of my soul and I could just cry any time. I know, I know, not everyone is built and born to be a Mom, a Mama. But what to do, I love being a mother.
So 45 years…. I look back at life and here are some of the things that I learned and unlearned and live by:
1. That I love being a mother. Miscarriage takes a toll on me. the thought that another good child that I can raise has been robbed of the opportunity to make this world a kinder, better, happier place is heart wrenching.
To my children: No one else will know the strength of my love for you. Afterall, you're the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.
2. That Eskinol is by far one of the best products my mom ever made me and my sister use. A facial lotion that our mother introduced to us at 16 years old. It deeply and effectively cleanses deep seated dirt, excess oil, and make up even after washing. Couldn’t even remember having a pimple problem ever! To this day, I still use it and continue to get compliments about my skin.
3. Exfoliate, exfoliate, exfoliate. I am known for my statement: “scrubie, scrubie”. There is nothing more turn off to a man or even another woman than having dark elbows, knees, knuckles, armpit (god forbid, please groom as often as you can!) and that eeeeky dark line on the neck. I use Bonne Spa Milk Salt. And if you know me personally, I am proud of my baby soft skin at 45. I use this at least once a week.
4. That Babies can only start drinking water at 6 months old. Until then, he gets all the hydration he needs from breast milk or formula, even in hot weather. Once your baby is 6 months , it’s okay to give him sips of water when he’s thirsty. This information even came from the World Health Organization. Here’s a link from the NY Times about water intoxication in babies: Click Here
5. The adage: The clothes make the man is sooooo true. I wrote a blog on this a few years ago prior to my old site being hacked. How you dress when meeting someone is a reflection of the degree of respect you have for them and yourself. Men in uniform are no exception. (I’ll perhaps write another blog about this in the future).
6. That I can make a mean Pavlova that I never even imagined!
7. That education does matter on many levels. Growing up, our elders tell us that we should see people the same no matter what. But, when the hood attitude comes out from certain individuals, I kid you not, the education issue play an important role.
8. That genetics is a huge consideration for a person’s make up. People may joke about it, but it is sooooo true.
9. That I have never seen so much food wasted in any country than Americans do. Each year, Americans waste 33 Million tons of food. Or, an equivalent of 165 Billion dollars worth of food every year. tsk tsk tsk.
10. That some people can be so particular about washing their hands, but then they don’t wash their butts after they poop. Filipinos will tell you that we are all taught to wipe and wash. So if you don’t know what a tabô or bidet is, most likely, you just wipe and have wasted tons of trees….. (golden silence)
11. That ninety percent of my friends don’t even know what a weave is. And every time I explain to them what it is, they are in shock. Nothing bad about it, they just thought all his time that all the hair they see in television and movies are real, or at least it is a wig or extension.
12. That love will never be enough. There is kindness, respect, honor, integrity and whole lot of things to make relationships work.
13. It isn’t always about the money. Unfortunately, for some people, money is the only currency they know in exchange of love, affection, attention, and being accountable.
14. The benefits of eating your placenta after birth. (See my blog on the birth story of my son, Akihiro Hermès).
15. The most flavorful Asian cuisine I’ve eaten is Thai food.
16. The most delicious fusion food for me is Filipino Food. It is a combination of European, American and Asian flavors (talk about east meets west). See my blog on when in Manila.
17. That Koreans and Japanese have some of the most beautiful skin in the world because of their beauty regimen practices incorporated in their culture. Remember, they encourage spending 12 hours in the spa.
18. That a well-traveled child make the most successful adults. Note from a proud Mama, I introduced travelling to my kids at the age of 4. They see the world as their oyster and a place to explore their gifts. Know art, history, race, culture, religion…Three scholars, what are your chances? Then of course, couple it with love and the best parenting you can conduct.
19. That most people take a child’s formative years for granted. This is from the ages 0 to 8. In Asian culture, we take these years very very seriously. The result? Asians are more persevering, dedicated, striving, and intelligent. However, I think China took it a bit too far with being competitive….
20. That it is important to enjoy life first before settling down. I was fortunate to have this opportunity. But before giving it up, exercise caution….
21. That hurt people, hurt people.
22. The best cure for baby’s hiccups is breast milk (if you’re breast feeding). It’s gone in 60 seconds! No joke!
23. Best matte lipsticks are made by MAC, L’Oréal and Maybelline
24. That we should be careful when fixing broken people, they can hurt us with their shattered pieces….
25. That the best and most reliable people are family and friends who you don’t even see every day.
26. That relationships have what I call the love bank. You need to be able to deposit the currency of love and affection before you can take out anything in times of need. Such as being able to ask for forgiveness and easily be forgiven when you make a mistake. Or simply enjoy a little more leniency in our imperfections as a human being because what ever short coming that is, it is nothing compared to the love we have deposited in our love bank. (Does that make sense?)
27. That my son is by far the only man in my life that has never broken my heart. (Hermés is too young.. :-))
28. That my three brother’s love for me can never be matched by any other man.
29. That children can lie. Sometimes even better than adults.
30. Maya Angelou is right. People forget what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel.
31. Cream Silk is the best conditioner ever.
32. That you don’t have to be a vegan or vegetarian to support PETA. I still love my burgers.
33. That dogs are the only creatures on the planet that is capable of loving unconditionally.
34. That it has always been difficult for me to get over the loss of my pets. Brucie (my white Chihuahua back home) died a month before I went back to Manila, and I am still teary eyed just typing about it.
35. Ever wonder why some people are just generally angry? This is true for some that are genetically born with high levels of the monoamine oxidase gene or MAOA. It's called the angry gene.
36. That every person you hurt has the right to the length of period when they can forgive you. And that for every one wrong doing you do to a person, it takes 10 acts to put it right and ease their pain.
37. That sorry has 3 components. Admitting you are wrong, apologizing for it and putting it right. If you haven’t done these three altogether, then you are never really sorry.
38. No one is ever born with a conscience. How we grew up based on our familial environment dictates what moral values and ethics we have. (Plus genetics play an important role)
39. Men in uniform are regarded to a high standard of morals and ethics. Men in uniform who are public servants are regarded to a much higher standard of morals and ethics.
40. That there is nothing sexier than men who are gentlemen.
41. For the endless beauty secret queries I get about my beauty regimen: I rub my face with ice once in a while to make my pores smaller, thus making my skin smoother and porcelain like. That is no secret.
42. People who have been writing me negative e-mails and constantly stalking my page and website saying my blogs are about them are actually fans in disguise.
*And if you feel this item is about and for you, all I can say is: "..if the shoe fits..."
43. I only have 3 real best friends in life. And one of them is my sister.
44. That the best gift a father can give to his children is to love their mother. And if you can’t, at least don’t hurt them.
45. That it is truly easier to build stronger children than repair broken men
Like everyone else, I am a work in progress. I am working towards a legacy that I will leave behind for my children to emulate and live by.